| Life |
[Apr. 12th, 2006|01:38 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | dorm | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
Ever notice that your life is just sort of passing you by. And youre just an on looker? Well, i'm kinds feeling like that lately. I feel like I've been watching my life pass by, and I have limited (if any) control over it. I don't know, i guess I'm just looking at things and trying to get my life on track on my terms. It's not an easy task, especially because I'm so unhappy with myself and my life. Certain things have just begun to irritate me, and I'm at a loss of what to do anymore. I guess thats all i really want to say. |
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| I donno |
[Apr. 9th, 2006|02:20 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Dorm | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Alone in the Universe from Seussical | ] |
Sooo, I haven't posted in such a long time. My life is still miserable...but I'm dealing. Chicago (my school's musical) is in 2 week and I can't wait for this shit to be done with. Life is pretty boring, and I am just blah.....as always. When the semester is over life will be good. I kinda want to be home but :( oh well. anyways, it's beddy bye time |
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| Throw it in my face |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|03:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Anything expressing real pain and anger | ] |
Why do I hate myself?
Tonight my pillow will be drenched in tears
Thanks to you
It's not so much about liking you,
But it's the way you rub it in my face
"Started a new relationship"
Why not fucking come here and laugh at me too
When did you change?
At one point, you cared about my feelings
God forbid you fucking realize your hurting someone
You self-centered asshole
Maybe one day you'll realize
All the good things you let pass you by
But hey, your happy now...
Thats all that matters...
And by happy, I mean you're getting play...
A piece of ass...
Because thats all you care about
Isn't it? |
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| blah |
[Oct. 14th, 2005|01:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | uncomfortable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Akon - Lonely | ] |
I don't really know whats bothering me, I just seem to be upset. I feel very alone and it scares me. I'm happy where I am, but something is subconsciously bothering me. I dont know, I need a good friend and it feels like the one person I could talk to....well I scared away. Sorry to me, because I'm the stupid one...Everything just seems to hit me so hard lately. I feel sick all the time, and I just want to cry, but my eyes are dry. (haha, unintentionally rhymed)...Anyways...I hope I'll feel better soon :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|01:47 am] |
The door is shut
and his eyes flame
silence
"click" as the door locks
there is a glowing
the crack beneath the door
the reflection lights his eyes
and there is a look
of madness
the child is frightened
crumpled in a corner
on a chair
staring in fear
clutching her knees
she has never seen
a night such as this
she does not understand
pain
his cold voice is heard
but she is too young
beads of sweat
drip off of her
her innocence
falling with each drop
all goes dark
and there is one
thread of light
the child's eyes open
the pain is gone
suffering is no more
the angel takes her hand
and leads her
to destiny
her innocence broken
inevitably
deteriorating more each day
the man's cold eyes
somehow become soft
and there is a tear
for a life so young
with no other escape
from the oppression of life
the child is happy now,
no longer in pain
from a life cut short |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2005|03:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Disturbed - Believe | ] |
I feel like a shell,
empty and alone.
Hidden beneath the sand
waiting for someone to dig me up
release my soul
allow me to fly
To be free from the wretched tide of the beach
To have all of the dirt and scum washed away
and just to live on with my scars |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|04:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
| [ | music |
| | RHCP - Under the Bridge | ] |
Quote from chelsea!
cld10is: well if u care so much u shouldn't rush it...u cant fall in love overnight...it's like pasta...u need to cook it for a while b4 it gets tender enough for u to gobble up and a watched pot never boils!
Chelsea is Fabulous....I <3 HER! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|12:53 am] |
Thinking of you makes my heart skip a beat
And I wish I could lie here with you forever.
But you don't want that
You don't want me...
And I don't blame you
Who would? Why would they?
I look in the mirror, and see nothingness
I'm so hopeless |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|11:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 3 Days Grace - I Hate Everything about You | ] |
My Pain consumes me...it is me
The wounds that you caused have yet to be healed
The scab over just to be reopened
Whether by you or someone else...
Today, it was someone else...
Someone I felt so deeply about
when I hadn't felt that way in a long time
But these sores just burn and puss
And just become sickening
I tried so desperately to sheild myself
But sometimes the pain is inevitable
You know it's coming, but not how bad it hurts
he rejected me...
I know how much you love to see me in pain
But today....I'm strong
I conceal the pain, the tears, the wounds
So that no one knows it
I allow it to consume my body
And eat away at my insides, my flesh, my sould
Because he can't know he hurt me...
You can't know he hurt me...
The pleasure it would bring to you would be unbearable to me.
So I'll conceal my pain within |
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| Sweet Serenity |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|10:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pessimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Averi - Waiting for a Ghost | ] |
I can taste the salty tears as they stream down my face,
I feel your hand caressing my back
And I know that its okay
I've got such guilt in my stomach,
but u lean close and tell me not to be sorry
trying to heal my pain with soft words
Words so soft I feel like floating
And i leave this place
Just for a while, feeling no pain, no guilt, no sorrow
As you let go, the pain sores back
And I feel it ten times worse
I look to you for my guidance, and you just hold onto me again
Trying to make me realize that everything is okay
and I don't understand how you look at me so intensly
I feel you look into my soul
and I just want to stay with you forever
To have you as my own
I'll never know if this will ever come true,
But its my dream, and no one will tell me no
I can dream as big as I want,
But all I ask for is love |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|09:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | November Rain - Guns N Roses | ] |
In a brink of insanity,
all could be lost.
a friendship, a relationship, a life
You make one sudden move,
do something unexpected
what will your repercussions be?
the pain that you inflict upon yourself
it's unbearable.
but sometimes, there's no way out
and you wonder why
why do you feel something so special
and the other does not?
I lost a friend today
and my own trust
How can i trust myself
when i go on making stupid moves such as these
this pain
it hurts, but you can't feel it
you don't know
this is mine, i caused it
The pain settles in,
makes itself comfortable...
in your head, your heart, the pit of your stomach
and because this is the pain i opened myself to |
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| Today |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|08:53 pm] |
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I'm so empty. I just want to scream at myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2005|02:41 pm] |
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So welcome to my journal! I'm not super great at this, but I've just had some poetry that i needed to get out...some of it's old, some new....you won't be able to tell....mainly old stuff....thanks for lookin! |
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lstinthght_65's journal